Friday, April 22, 2011

Earth Day 2011 ?

Somewhere, today, Stephen Box will be pedaling his bicycle on the streets of L.A., personally saving the world by conserving a few gallons of gasoline.

Tomas O'Grady will be collecting rainwater (if it rains) or maybe he will be planting an herbal garden at a local school.

Allison Cohen-Ferraro will be using biodegradable inks and paper to praise fellow eco-warriors all around the city in her local gossip sheet, the Los Feliz Ledger.

Tom La Bonge will celebrate Earth Day by eating some pumpkin bread.

Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa will continue to ignore the City budget problems for the 1,725th day in a row. Instead, he will appear at a silly photo op with children and flowers and gospel singers.

The Dark Lord (Paul Krekorian) will continue to pander to the Sierra Club by going on yet another hike with them. On the hike, he will daydream about taking peoples automobiles away from them.

Eric Garcetti, Janice Hahn, The Cat Whisperer (Paul Koretz), and The Hamburglar (Jan Perry) will all make long-winded presentations at City Council pointing out their own efforts at saving the globe. After the Council meeting, they will all go out onto the lawn on the South side of City Hall and get into a big hippie drum circle and dance. If we are lucky, Jan Perry might even bust out musically with this Broadway hit.

Me? I'm going to celebrate Earth Day my own special way.

I'm going to get into a vehicle that seats 33 people and drive it all over the city.
It gets about 5 miles to the gallon. Vroom vroom.

Happy Earth Day, everyone.