Yesterday, I was on my way home from a trip to the bank. It's only about 500 yards, so I walk.
I was at the corner of Melrose and La Brea, which is real close to where I live. As I cross the street, I see an enormous black SUV westbound on Melrose waiting to turn right onto La Brea. As I walk in front of it, I look through the windshield and I see a pretty blond woman sitting at the wheel. Even though she had a hat and sunglasses on, I was pretty sure it was Paris Hilton.
When I get to the far corner, I decide to test my theory. I'm only about five feet away from her, standing on the curb. I shout "PARIS!" really loud. She clearly hears it, because she glances over at me and seems to be trying to decide if she knows me or not. She realizes she doesn't, the light changes, and she turns right onto La Brea northbound.
That would have been the end of it, but then she turns right into an alley behind Jiffy Lube just 50 feet from me as I am walking that way. I see her go down the alley...then start turning right again.
I'm thinking...wait a minute...right, right, and right means you're going in circles. She was either dodging a papparazzi or looking for a place to park. I turn and walk down the alley in that direction, because I live in that area. When I get to Sycamore, I see her parked and music is thumping inside the vehicle. I can't really see inside very well from across the street because the windows are so darkened from tinting.
I give up on the situation and head home, which was really close by. I was kind of surprised she was hanging out in my neighborhood. I wasn't so excited about seeing her, because I've seen her around town a few times before, but she was usually driving a light blue Bentley when I saw her before. In fact, I was thinking that she might possibly have been someone else. When I get home, I Google "Paris Hilton Yukon" and sure enough, she does own one of these vehicles. In fact, she brags about being one of the very few owners of this type of SUV hybrid vehicle.
I went outside and took a photo of the vehicle to compare. The top photo is from a papparazzi. The bottom two were taken near Melrose by me. It looks like the exact same make and model, with highly specialized tires to fit oversized rims. Probably her. But she was gone...probably eating at a trendy restaurant nearby or visiting an art gallery in the area.
I have a fondness for Paris Hilton, and also for Lindsay Lohan.
I have sympathy for them, because the world is filled with haters, and I have a few of my own.
I know what it's like to have malicious media people write horribly slanderous things about you.
While I don't have paparazzi chasing me like they do, like them, I do have people making things up about me all over the internet. (Like, for example, that Mayor Sam blogger and nutjob Joe Barrett)
So Paris and Lindsey are cool with me.
I hope to meet them someday.
I'll be happy to warn them about the drawbacks of running for political office.